I come here to bury this joke, not to praise it. It has had its day in the Sun, but that day is over. Just like Pie in the Face has gone quietly into that good night, so has That’s What She Said.

It’s not often that a murderer eulogizes his own victim. However, it’s the least I could do after my incessant use of TWSS contributed greatly to its demise. Whether it was in a college classroom, the workplace, or at an internship, TWSS was always there beside me. It was a constant comfort to know that, when all else failed, his insertion into the conversation was always (or usually) good for a laugh. In fact, I inserted him in some places that you wouldn’t even believe, and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done.

TWSS came to prominence off the tongue of Michael Scott in the middle of the first decade of this century. He preached the word of TWSS to a mass audience in the male 18-49 demographic in a way that put him on par with other great prophets like Isaiah, Muhammed, and Billy Mays. He is responsible for bringing TWSS into millions of American homes. He touched and fulfilled many, including me.

The height of my TWSS hysteria must have come two summers ago when I realized I couldn’t have normal conversations anymore. In my warped mind, TWSS could apply to any situation: “You’re not doing it right.” TWSS. “Did you find it yet?” TWSS. “Here, let me do it.” TWSS. I could see the monster I’d become. It left a disgusting taste in my mouth.

That fall, I tried to cleanse myself of this evil spirit by writing a movie called That’s What She Said. We even produced a trailer for the movie on BU Tonight, but sadly that trailer never saw the light of day. A transcript of that trailer can be read here. It should be known that I wrote that script to express the sheer terror that TWSS had brought into my life. It was meant to loosen the terrifying grip it had on my comic expression, and it worked. There had been so much inside of it me, and now it was finally out.

Since then, TWSS has become less and less a part of me. I still use it from time to time - a lot of people do. However, the TWSS fervor has declined. It is no longer the landmark of comedy it once was. It’s entered the new realm of the Throwback Joke. When I say it now, I breathe a nostalgic sigh and lament for all that has been lost. That’s What She Said is dead, and we may never see another like it. It was as much a part of my early twenties as college was, but now it’s time to say goodnight, sweet prince. Although I may use you much less now than I did in the past, you will always have a place on the tip of my tongue.