First of all, I apologize for the long delay between posts. I understand how difficult it must have been for the three of four dedicated readers of this blog when I went silent for a couple weeks. Because of my wisdom teeth extraction, my Roarin’ Twenties were reduced to a dull whimper. I couldn’t do much of anything since I was unable to stare at a computer screen for more than five consecutive minutes without feeling nauseous. My computer has a lot of issues to begin with and I chose not to add “vomit in-between the keys” to the list.

Second of all, as this post’s title indicates, I’m a prostitute, and by that I mean my main goal right now is to sell myself for money. I know I’m not alone, too. I’m seeing now that as our economy begins to make a turn-around (I picture it fighting back against the beat in the club), there are job opportunities out there. However, the job opportunities will rarely be exactly what you want or, more importantly, exactly what you’re experience says you’re ready for. Therefore, you’re stuck trying to pitch yourself to people as the right man/woman for the job based on skills, not experience. That’s a much more difficult sell.

The skill I need to sell myself on (since basket weaving doesn’t have much value in today’s workplace) is my creativity. The justification is certainly there with film industry internships in creative development and writing experiences that include a newspaper column, a college TV show, and this blog. That leaves me with the task of sifting through an endless array of companies and trying to see how exactly I can convince them that what they do requires my creative services. The name of the game is value, and I need to make them believe that I can be a valuable part of whatever it is that they do. How do I do this? Good question. Want to brainstorm answers with me?

One way to do this, I suppose, is networking. It’s been a dirty word of sorts for the last year in my life - my own personal N word that I’m supposed to do but haven’t done much of. My brother, a PR professional, is a networking whore. And I mean that with the utmost respect. He’s phenomenal at what he does because he networks so well, building relationships with professional people at any given opportunity. One day I’ll force him to write a book about networking and the book will be successful because, really, how could it not be in his hands? I probably won’t have to force him, actually. He’ll be more than willing. You can’t shut him up.

Last night he brought me along with him to a networking event called Young Media Leaders, a chance for young professionals whose works deal with social media to make helpful connections. Everyone wore name tags that included where they worked (and, in some cases, his/her Twitter handle). As you can imagine, my tag was blank other than my name. I thought about spicing things up with “Substitute Teacher” or “Volunteer Soccer Coach,” but I don’t think that puts butts in the seats.

Do you know what does put butts in the seats, though? Snazzy business cards. My brother has those, of course, to go along with his outgoing personality and charm that works wonders at this kind of thing. So just to recap, that means I’m walking around the room with no job title to boast, business cards to share, or networking experience to build off of as I try to engage these successful professionals in a conversation that could sorta-kinda-maybe get me an inkling of hope for a job on the horizon. Sounds challenging, huh? Maybe even…scary? I may have peed a little.

Eventually, though, you just have to sink or swim. You start a conversation with someone and you’re relieved when they don’t spit in your drink when you say you’re seeking employment. They ask what you want to do, and that’s when the sell begins. For me, my sell uses vagueness as a strength. For one thing, I’m not fully aware of the world I’m getting into now as I search for work in the PR field that I know is well within my means as both a creative person and a BU Communications grad. Still, I have somewhat of an idea of what I should be saying:

“Well, I’m looking to get into PR like my brother,” (They don’t know your brother, stupid, and how is that relevant?) “get in at an agency and prove myself creatively.” (Everyone says they’re creative. Why don’t you tell them you like long walks and sunsets while you’re at it?) “I’ve had a lot of different writing experiences between a column, blogging, and screenwriting” (There you go. You’re doing it, Peter! You’re doing it!) “as well as internships on the creative side of film development, and I think all of that helps me bring a lot to the table.” (Too late. You lost them at “brother.”)

I did get better though. As the night went on, there was nowhere to go but up. Once I relaxed and saw that I needed to sell them on my personality the same as my brother does all the time, I found the event to be much less of a struggle. I just talked to people, presenting myself and my situation. Easy enough. I was even paying attention to how others handled the event, adopting strategies here and there. I overheard one person, a college senior who’s smarter than I ever was attending something like this while he’s still in school, use a great phrase that I plan to use for now on: “Social media content creation.” What genius! It’s like all the major buzz words I could ever need!

In the end, I’m obviously not going to walk away from an event like last night’s with a job offer and nothing but clear skies ahead. More likely than not, this will become a regular thing. It’s crucial that I’m always getting to know people in the industry because they’re the ones who can put me where I need to be. Ultimately, all the networking will prove fruitful and I’ll have the chance to sell myself to a company for a specific job opportunity. Then the trouble will be convincing the company they can use my creative powers for good. I’ll be selling myself again. Son of a Networker!

And in that way I’m a prostitute. I don’t know how much longer it will last, but for the time being I’m standing on a street corner and lifting up my skirt while potential buyers/hirers walk by. Do I turn any of them on? Not yet. I can’t blame, either. I lack experience, the equivalent of a good body in the prostitution world. I’m offering up jelly-rolls and a toothless smile to potential customers while the girls around me look like the best the trailer parks have to offer (i.e. Megan Fox). But in time, that will become insignificant as I meet more and more people, until the right person that can see I’m worth giving a chance will help me land the job I’ve been looking for.

Once I’m given that chance, I plan on loving that company long time.